i'm back to post lerrh..wake up around 2 plus to actually finish my tuition homework as i'm having tuition today..tuition for two hours and after tuition went to hubby's popo house donwstairs to meet him..pei him home and we took bus 291 to interchange..went to collect my ITE school pants which i send it for alteration..then me and hubby went to tampines mall to hunt for ear studs.. but end up we went to THE BLUE to buy studs..he buy two studs..while i buy none -.- after that went to eat KFC for my dinner as i have not eat the whole day.. then after eating went back to hubby's house as i wan to watch the 9pm show.. after show finish,i continue watching the 10pm show on U channel..after show finish hubby jiu send me home..although its onli a few hours with him but i'm satisfied..thought that i wont be meeting him this few days..but he agree to meet me today..so surprise..mmm , my feeling is still the same..i know no matter wat is also the same..don wan think so much lerrh..tml will be working at WISMA.. but a few hours onli..after work will be going out with colleagues as sat they have cancelled it..should be going out to eat and sing..a farewell for my supervisor..done with my posting for today..going to play maple private server lerrh.. TATA!
♥ 11:03 PM
i'm back to post lerrh , whole nite did not even sleep..many thoughts just popped out..when wanted to sleep its already morning and i'm preparing to go work..reach workplace and started to work..today's sales is damn good..lol..thought that today i'm onli working till 6 but end up i'm working full..today is window change but i still daydreaming didn know anything and new shower gel is lauched, its wild cherry..i don really like the smell..lol , but its okay..i think i wont be buying..sian , this coming sun i will be working at tampines lerrh..i miss all my colleagues.. new environment , new target and new colleagues.. scare that i cant cope with it..but i promise novia i will work hard there, wont throw her face..lol..hope so..even cannot also have to say can..mmm , today is already the second day did not see hubby..and i miss him..i know i'm dreaming that he will actually come find me or wan to meet me..i don know why always think that he will come find me..this few days he also did not message me much..sigh..after work , went to vivo with huishi and went to buy food for my dinner..bloody hell , thought of eating a nice meal but because its already late so we decided to grab some snacks to eat.. but after eating at least my stomach feel better..around 10 , me and her went to starbucks and sat down for a drink..suddenly talked abt me and hubby's derrh relationship..i actually tell her how happy are we when we are together the first 1 year , but now it become like this..when talked till half, my tears actually rolled down my cheeks cause its hurting me to actually reminded all the happy memories last time and now we are like strangers..sigh..not i wan ppl to pity me but i know wat it is now when i don need ppl to comfort or say anything to me..cause my heart is messy too and i don know wat to do..so wat if i cant sleep whole nite crying? there is no difference cause he doesn know and he don wan to know..its been 3 years soon..and we turn out to be this way..i know we will end up leaving one another but i told myself for the time being i will make it a memorable relationship , i try not to quarrel.. but i hope he knows that i'm doing all this..i know there wont be forever, in the end he will still leave me for other girls..
♥ 11:25 PM
i'm back to post lerrh , didn get to post yesterday so now updating..yesterday went to find hubby in the afternoon , when reached jiu started using com, wanted to put L4D into juan's laptop but still cant so end up playing maple private server but connection is so damn lag so end up not playing and went down with hubby to buy lunch as i'm so hungry..it's my first time eating mixed vegetable rice when i'm with hubby cause i never liked to eat that..hubby is so surprised that i actually said i wanted to eat that, he was like huh! -.- was so full eating that..after that sat on the sofa and watch tv till i fall asleep but not long me jiu wake up and pei hubby..so long since we actually watch tv together..cause sometimes he using com and i will be sleeping while sometimes both of us will be sleeping..around 7 , he bring me to bus stop and i actually went home myself..wont be meeting him lerrh till next mon..but i'm fine with it cause he is not keen to see me so i must well spent more time with my frens and colleagues..and soon this coming sun i will be working at tampines body shop..so excited as i wanted to know the ppl there are freindly anot..mmm , hopefully..when reach home me jiu use com awhile then not long dad and mum reach home and she asked me to follow to harry's pub to find james korkor..went there to drink..the new harry's pub is damn nice..will post pics soon..after james korkor finish work they actually brought me to clubbing at a thailand disco..it's at shenton way, it's call sebai sebai..that place is quite messy not really like it..and actually i sneak into it too cause i still have not reach 18,james korkor actually bomb my age as 19 that's why i'm able to enter..now i see everything when clubbing , i will go zouk and st james once..mum and dad will bring me go the next time.. i also will wan to go with my frens cause when i'm with them i cant dance actually..must act 'guai'
-.-.LOL.went to geylang and eat frog porridge after went off from there..it's nice but i don like to eat so much cause i wan to follow hubby, he don eat all this so i also wan to practice not to kill..after finish eating jiu home sweet home..
today wake up so early just wan to finish my tuition homework but still end up never finish..went to tuition at 4.30pm.. when doing all my work that time head suddenly hurt so much that i wanted to bang the wall liao..but end up i still manage to hold till i finish tuition, after tuition i went to my mama house..played with the baby and she so cute you know? haha..
she follows whatever you say..LOL..then around 7 plus the children all went home lerrh so i stayed there to watch show till 10 then jiu went home lerrh..so now using com and i wan to play maple private server lerrh.. wondering that can i still talk to him and tell him how i feels and actually make him forget all the hatred and start afresh, cause i'm sure that if he never forget the hatred,we will never be happy..mmm , sigh.. such a pathetic relationship i have.. :(
♥ 11:53 PM
i'm back to post lerrh , wake up around 11 plus and prepare to go to work..reach workplace around 12 plus going to 1.. think quite alot today during work.. i don know why i suddenly have all those thoughts inside me..i actually go tell my colleague that i feel that me and him is fading away.. i don know how and wat to do.. i really feel so confuse..so wat if we are together and there is no love ther ? i really miss the days we had last two years.. the fotos we take really make me feel so sad cause all the memories just keep popping out.. we never take pictures anymore.. no more of him putting our picture in his fone.. no more holding of hands.. we are just like strangers.. so wat if i'm smiling everyday..so wat if ppl ask me i have a bf, i always say i have but the fact is that i have one who is just like a stranger to me..i care for him , i love him but to him its just nthg..i know he will never see my blog , he wont even peek into it and read how i feel inside here..whoever who ask me to stay happy with him , really sorry.. i try my best but he did not..i thought things will get better, but it seems to be worse..i know the long lost love will never ever be back again..cause there seems to be hatred in it..if one day the hatred is not forgotten , there wont be a lovely relationship..post till here bah.. hope tml will be a better day..bye !
♥ 11:56 PM
i'm back to post..8 plus jiu wake up lerrh , jiu prepare to go tuition..in fact can say that i never even sleep last nite..whole nite keep turning up and down..haiis..now i know this love no longer exist..whenever i go out i can see couples walking around me so intimate but is onli a feeling of 羡慕cause i don have all this inside a relationship..maybe we have been together for so long and seems to be tired of doing all this..think all this problems make me even more sad and scare cause it might even bring us apart..it also bring me to feel that although we are so close but yet we are so far..i really don know wat will happen when sch starts, we are in different sch and we also have different type of things to do..we don have time for one another..but i know i will find time for him but i know he will never do that..cause i'm no longer important to him..haiis, so what if i'm suffering? he know? yarrh , he know but for the sack of himself ,he wont do anything for me..haiis..stay happy ?hur! think happy with a broken heart..stop here bah..
♥ 1:03 PM
i'm back to post..such a boring day today..went to hubby house..when reached jiu go out to hubby's ah ma house as she want to eat spring chicken..reached there and we sitted for almost an hour then we went home..when reach home only awhile , vor jiu ask hubby to bring thumbdrive give him so both of us make our way down to 445 to meet him..chat till 4 plus then we went home..i'm too tired to walk cause i already got no strength as i did not sleep alot this few days..after back to hubby's house both me and hubby sleep and while hubby sleep till 6 plus while i sleep till 7 plus..i thought this few days i go find hubby, he will hug me to sleep but i think he no longer will hug me..around 10 plus hubby pei me go eat my dinner at
MR PRATA and after that he send me home as both of us walked home we really talk alot and enjoy ourself..hubby said that he wan to buy small little dummies for collection and he said he will bring me to find all this type of collection soon and i also love this type of collection..if i have alot of money, i swear i will buy all this for hubby..mmm , i want to earn alot alot of money.. haha.. jiu post till here bah..TATA!
♥ 11:50 PM
back to post lerrh.. disappear for so long.. haha..mmm, this few times have been busy studying and working..pathetic me , soon sch going to reopen lerrh.. there will be more work to go..
SIAN!but i'm not that type that give up easily.. even for my relationship , i'm also that type which will hold on even if i'm suffering..haha..but before the start of all this challenges , i will be going malacca with hubby and his family on april the 4th.. its also after our anni.. then sch will start and i'm ready to race till the reaching point.. gonna buck up and get good results for my O level retake for maths and english.. also for my ITE studies.. will be aiming for poly again..my goal will still continue on as i really wan to go into poly if possible university.. maybe ppl might think that i'm just saying but i hope my parents and also hubby will support me.. mmm , okay .. post till here.. will be back soon .. -.-
♥ 11:58 PM
i'm back to post lerrh , went to work in the morning at wisma and i was late for work..i work at 12 but i onli reach at 12.15..on the way to work when i'm in the bus i actually msg hubby..i also think quite alot..finally i know after so many years together, i'm the one at fault..he's been tolerating with my everything..i felt really guilty..so i apologise to him but i hope is his forgiveness and also that both of us can actually forget the past and start anew..but i know he wont do that..i really love him alot and i really need him..i wan him to be my life..haiis..i'm sad and i'm really sad..tml i will be finding him..hope it will be a better day for us..haiis..hope so..dear , i really don wan this type of relationship..i wan a happy and memorable relationship..i don wan us to regret and start hating one another..i love you dear..i'm not going to say more lerrh..this whole day was feeling so moody..no appetite..no mood , just simply lost all my mood today..dear, i really hope you know that i wan is your forgiveness..
♥ 11:59 PM
i'm back to post lerrh, went to work in the morning.. when the bus actually pass by his house , alot of things just flash back inside me.. all our happy memories.. but now its like a horror movie to me.. he just don care abt me.. throwing me aside..its like so horrified to me..i'm really scare and sad..i don know what should i actually do.. i told him but he don care, he still carry on treating me like this.. i really hate this feeling..if you really think you can concentrate on onli a person then let me go.. go concentrate on her.. i really feel hurt when you actually treat me like this.. haiis.. i rather give up myself cause you no longer love me like before , like how i love you.. after so many years and our love is like this.. loving you so much but end up you will be leaving me first..haiis..i really don know you still love me anot , you still care for me..i really don know.. today is a bad day for me and i'm actually feeling so moody slipping into shop floor..my colleague is sick and i'm working alone like mad women till afternoon then got ppl come helping me..work till 5 plus then got the time for my lunch..didn eat much also, cause no appetite..finish work around 9 plus..actually i'm having pain inside my eyes..wonder wat is growing inside it..sigh! it hurts.. everywhere inside me is hurt especially my heart..haiis.. till now you still don understand, you still can enjoy games with other girls..msg other girls..haiis..yarrh , i'm jealous..if i'm not jealous, i'm not your gf and i also wont care so much if i'm not your gf..you won't feel this type of pain cause you are not girl and you also won't have the chance to be a girl that's why you don know how it feels..always saying that i'm sensitive.. haiis.. loving so much but this is all i get back..haiis..yarrh..you onli give me all this..i see all the other ladies will have their guy bringing them home from work but me ? heh! i go home myself.. take bus home alone..even eat dinner ,wan ask you out also hard.. you can even ask me to eat myself.. haiis..no longer call me darling cause i know i'm not worth you call me anymore..just treating me like nthg..haiis..yarrh , now i'm nthg to you..i said so much to you , you still continue treating me like this..haiis..won't even message me when i never message you..instead you messaging other girls..haiis..go on bah..
treat me as your toy.. when you need me then find me bah..if you don need can don need care abt me..even one day i die you also won't care..yarrh , that's you..now you understand yourself already ? this is you..
♥ 11:59 PM
back to post lerrh..today morning wake up and went for my tuition till 2 plus and reach home after eating medicine jiu went to bed..just wake up and i wan to start doing my tuition homework.. haiis , i'm feeling so worse.. i seems to feel betrayed..
when you are not with me , you can actually went out with ppl..and enjoy yourself.. it can be your mummy and also it can be your brothers.. so you are happy quarrelling with me..haiis , i hate her , and i do ! i seriously onli can spam here and say.. hubby.. i know you too well liao.. when you don have me, you sure take the action to find her..cause i'm onli a replacement.. pls open your big brain and think that you still got a gf.. i had enough of all this liao larrh..i can close one eye not to say anything..but you said before?when do things that time have to use your brain and think..what about you , you doing all this behind me you wont feel guilty?even if its me doing this behind you i will feel guilty and think for you..haiis.. whatever larrh..always is all this ppl make us become like this..
♥ 6:50 PM
i'm back to post lerrh , xanga is damn lag and i hate waiting so i intend to post here.. i'm damn moody now.. really very tired.. quarrelled with hubby again.. i'm so restless.. didn sleep hao for the whole night.. just waiting for him to reply.. had a bad dream , wake up that time i'm crying hard.. haiis.. went to work today and i'm forcing myself to work just to forget all my troubles..
thnx IMA , she have been encouraging me and comforting me.. she tried hard to make me smile for the day.. thnx..
after so many years , you still doesn know wat i wan.. i need is your love and care..in a relationship shouldn there be contributions from both side and not onli me alone contributing?i sacrifice alot , wat about you ? wat have you done ? i'm jealous over you and her.. why cant she just stop interrupting into us ? why cant you sacrifice a little not to contact her? because of you i never contact any guys.. onli the frens that i treat as my brothers..haiis.. everything is not only using your mouth to say jiu can derrh.. i need derrh is action..show me that you still love me can? show me that you still care can? promise to me is nthg already , i wan is action from you..haiis , now because we are quarrelling and you doesn wan to sort out with me and never contact me.. till now you are still the same.. i'm really disappointed with you..it's really hurting me..haiis.. i don wan to say anymore, if you got the brains to think , you will know why i say all this.. haiis ..
♥ 11:59 PM
